Do They Know How Much I Love Them?

The perfect Mother’s Day evening on the porch…

Almost every morning, one of the first thoughts that enters my mind is:

“Am I a good mom?”

And almost every night, before I fall asleep, it comes back again.

Am I doing enough?
Am I present enough?
Do I push too hard?
Do I work too much?
Do my kids feel deeply loved…
Or just deeply provided for?

And sometimes I wonder…

Do bad moms even ask themselves those questions?

Because motherhood is strange.
The people trying the hardest often carry the heaviest guilt.

I think about the games.
The practices.
The bus stops.
The moments I was exhausted, but still showed up.
The moments I was physically there, but mentally scattered between customers, puppies, messages, responsibilities, and the endless pressure of building something bigger than myself.

I wonder if my children will someday say:
“My mom worked too much.”

Or if they’ll say:
“My mom built something incredible, and we got to witness it.”

That thought lives inside me constantly.

Especially as a woman trying to build a business, a brand, a family, and a life all at once.

Because there’s a unique guilt ambitious mothers carry.

You’re told to chase your dreams…
but never so hard that your children feel it.

You’re told to build…
But never miss a moment.

You’re told to be strong…
but always soft.

Present…
but productive.

Available…
but successful.

And somehow we’re expected to do all of it flawlessly.

The truth is, I don’t know if balance truly exists.

Some days I feel unstoppable.
Some days I feel like I’m failing everyone at once.

But what I do know is this:

My children are loved beyond measure.

Every long night.
Every stressful day.
Every dog cleaned up after.
Every customer answered.
Every event hosted.
Every risk taken.
Every sacrifice made…

was always rooted in love.

Love for my family.
Love for creating a future.
Love for building something my children could someday be proud of.

And maybe one day my daughter will understand what I was really fighting for.

Not perfection.

Possibility.

Maybe she’ll see that women can be nurturing AND ambitious.
Soft AND powerful.
Maternal AND visionary.

Maybe she’ll learn that not everyone is going to like you…
And that sometimes, that’s okay too.

That standing up for yourself matters.
That building something meaningful will always attract opinions.
And that shrinking yourself to make everyone comfortable is not the same thing as being kind.

Maybe she’ll understand that building a life takes courage.
Those dreams cost energy.
That motherhood isn’t measured only in spotless houses or perfect schedules…

But in devotion.

And I hope my children always know this:

Even on the days I was overwhelmed…
even on the days I doubted myself…
even on the days I felt torn in a hundred directions…

They were always the center of my world.

Always.

And tonight, before I fall asleep, I know I’m probably not alone in these thoughts.

So goodnight to all the good moms out there…
the ones lying awake, hoping their children truly know how deeply they are loved.

If you’re like me…

You are my tribe. 💖